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you__kill__me__well
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Name: Alexz
Location: Parkersburg, West Virginia, United States
Gender: Female
Interests: MUSIC! Sleeping alot. Chapstick. Ramen noodles. Crew. Checkered things. My DVD player. My dog Chester. My cat named Hitler. My room. Playing drums, guitar, and bass. Making things. Painting. Being creative. Scrapbooking. Skateboarding. Nathan's band--A Well Known Faction. Nathan's friends. My friends. Girls' Nights. The Grind. Coffee Guru Man. My sweet art gifts for people because I'm poor. Getting things in the mail. Top Five Favorite Bands: The Used, My Chemical Romance, Silverstein, Harvey Danger, and Brand New.
Message: message me
AIM:  pullthetriggers
Member Since:
8/11/2004
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| I quit life. Temporarily, of course.
If I seem out of sorts lately, that's because I am.
So, yea. Don't say anything. You know you don't really care. Sorry if that's mean. Actually, no I'm not. I'm fucking leaving this town in less than 5 months. You'll be lucky if you ever see me again. People should consider themselves lucky if I don't kill myself this week. Or come close to it.
Thank you for nothing.
Thank you for nothing.
I'm glad I have no use.
I am merely wasted talent.
I have no outlet.
I hate this town.
It's killing me.
Winter is killing me.
I quit.
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You'll hear no more of this shit. I thought about taking a lot of that stuff back, but I still mean it. I'm not writing in here anymore. If I start a new one I will inform you if you're special. Blah. </3 alexz. | | |
| New layout. It's gorgeous. I have been obsessed with The Postal Service ever since winter started. Ben Gibbard is my hero. I could live off his lyrics alone.
Today is the day to get things done. I've blacked out my windows and I'm pretending it's summer, walking around like I'm avoiding the heat.
Things I need to do today:
+ Go to Wal-Mart.
+ Do my nails.
+ Watch Donnie Darko.
+ Take pictures.
+ Write some more.
+ Practice guitar. And not accoustic. I am being freaking emo lately.
+ Take more pictures.
+ Clean my room. Fold my laundry.
+ Attempt HW. But only if I'm up to it.
+ Find plans for this evening that don't involve being a loser.
+ Burn CD's. I have like 6 more that need to be burned.
I also need to stop making pointless lists. They keep me in check though. I like making lists. Anyways, hope everyone's having a good weekend. Blahhh. <3 alexz.
"I know there's a big world out there,
Like the one that I saw on the screen
In my living room late last night.
It was almost too bright to see."
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| Yea, I haven't updated in a while. Consider this my update. I am a lazy ass. I have many stories to tell, yet no motivation to do so. Sorry. Perhaps sometime this weekend I will feel the urge. Hope you're all doing well. <3 alexz.
---------EDIT--------
I need to stop being such a bitch sometimes.
I need to stop thinking so many bitchy thoughts.
I need to stop hating people for illegitimate reasons.
I need to stop spelling things wrong.
I need to give things I care about my all.
I need to show the people I care about that I actually do care.
I need to smoke pot more often. Fuck you if you disagree. It's my choice.
I need to get out of this town.
I need to stop thinking that a few things will change everything.
I need to be perfect.
At the same time I need to give up my quest to be perfect.
I think if I tried I could make my "Fuck You" list a couple pages longer.
I need to write more.
I need to play guitar more.
I need to stop bitching, except I'm usually the only one who listens.
I need to stop liking my bad traits so damn much. Truthfully, I enjoy being a bitch.
I was such a cool kid when I was young.
I wonder if I'm still cool like I used to be.
Lord knows I'm not a nice.
I need to post my favorite poem. I keep thinking about it.
I need to change.
It's so hard when you don't feel like it though.
It's bad enough to have to change, but to know what you need to do and not doing it, that's worse.
It doesn't make me a bad person.
It means I'm refusing to grow up. And care.
These apathetic feelings haven't gone away for weeks.
I swear that I'm manic depressive sometimes. Gay as that sounds.
When things are good, they so fucking good.
When things are bad, it's like being suicidal minus the desire for suicide.
I need to get out of this town.
Oh man, do I need out of this town.
I need a job, but I am lazy. Perhaps I shall sell my plasma like I said I was going to do.
Despite my shitty qualities, I am perfectly happy with who I am.
I haven't decided if that's good or bad.
But truthfully, I need to stop dismissing people.
It's just so hard for me to care these days.
I am sick on a Friday night and no one cares.
I shouldn't expect them to.
I thrive on others, but unless you take the initiative yourself nothing ever happens.
You know it's the truth.
I am all for utopia.
I wouldn't mind growing up to have a Stepford wife type deal.
I like the idea of having a husband, being a housewife, taking care of the kids.
I'd have dinner on the table by 6:00.
I'd take my long haired Chiwawa on my morning errands. (Fuck my spelling, I am retarded tonight.)
I'd volunteer at the local animal shelter.
I'd be the classroom mom.
President of the PTA.
I would make the best baked goods in the world.
I'd eat right.
My family would eat right.
I would alternate everyday with yoga and Polatis. (Again, fuck my spelling.)
I'd go to church.
I'd like church again. When people would actually talk to me. Maybe I'd fit in.
I didn't stop going to church because I have turned away from God/Jesus.
I stopped going to church because I don't fit in there anymore.
If anything, it weakens my relationship with God.
I'm fine with it.
I'll find a sweet church when I go to college.
I will be so cool when I go to college.
I will.
I thought about going to Ohio University today.
My second year I want to go to U of M, but I have to get my grades up.
I still want to do crew. OU has crew. And prepharmacy.
It's not far away enough though.
But maybe it is.
I need to brush my teeth and go start my life tonight.
Wish me luck.
It's been said before, but no one ever does it.
Have a good weekend.
<3 alexz. | | |
| Things to say about this weekend:
+ We are badass. And we rock out to Ashlee Simpson.
+ Our inventive slang rocks.
Woopie wa? Woopie woo? Woopie...oh shit. I forgot. Joanna, correct me if you remember.
+ I love my boyfriend, even though he confuses me.
+ There are some people I would like to save from boredom.
+ LOBSTER BABY!!! I have to get him.
+ Jennifer and Gustav make a cute couple. I'm glad they're going out.
+ Joanna and Jennlynne05 are my bestests. We are hot motherfuckers. Heck yes.
+ Crew is cold.
+ Mall parking lots are sweet.
+ I am incapable of ordering from a drive-thru.
+ I enjoy The Peeping Toms because they make Nathan's band happy.
+ Yes, and Taste of Chaos is tomorrow.
That is the best news of all. I shall update Monday for tomorrow I shall be quite busy. What with, watching The Used and all. Oh wait, and making out with Bert because he asked me to do it. Onstage. I like skanky boys. Haha. Whatev. Hope you kids are having a good weekend. <3 alexz. | | |
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Things are weird. I don't know what. It's not bad. It's kind of good. I don't know. Anyone ever get like that?
I am living for Taste of Chaos right now. I would say that is pathetic, but then I'd being lying. Because I am excited like no other.
There are certain people who always make me happy.
Others could make me happy and I depend too much on them.
Some would make me happy if they weren't the ones making me sad.
Glad this was such an awesome update. Heck yes. <3 alexz. | | |
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